Preparing Missionaries to Prevent and Stop Abuse

Before they leave on their missions, we can train our young men and women to:

1) Differentiate between abuse and good-natured horsing around.

Wrestling can be fun, but you should never cross lines like continuing to hold someone down once they've in any way tapped out, cried uncle, or are clearly no longer having fun. Getting someone in a choke hold or subjecting another person to "torture", even in a joking way, is abusive and unacceptable.

2) Avoid abusing other missionaries.

Never hold someone down against their will or deliberately do anything that could injure them or leave marks on their body. Doing things to someone else's body against their will--such as shaving their eyebrows, ripping out hair or holding them upside-down--is abuse and unacceptable.

3) Recognize the abusive nature of control.

Never control another missionary or try to force them to do something, even if you conclude it's something they "should" be doing. President David O. McKay taught that, next to life itself, the greatest gift God has given us is the opportunity to direct our lives. Taking away a junior companions personal possessions is not an acceptable way to motivate them. Emotionally abusive treatment like insulting someone or speaking in a demeaning manner is not the way to get results. Neither is demanding that they pay for more than their share of groceries or taxi rides.

4) Attempt to stop abuse when they see it happening.

Making statements such as "Hey guys, this isn't funny!" "Think of how he feels!" "Think of how you'd feel if you were in his shoes!" You've crossed the line and you need to stop!" These statements are made in a firm, no-nonsense, assertive way that lets the victim or potential victim know you're an ally standing up for them AND letting the abuser or would-be abuser know you won't stand by and tolerate abuse.

5) Refuse to join in when recruited to take part in abuse.

6) Report abuse you witness or become aware of.

7) Support those who report abuse.

8) Help create an environment of mutual respect and encouragement.